WELCOME TO LA!
My entire life, I had been dreaming about going to California and pursuing my dreams of being an entertainer in the music business. Not just dreaming, but a deep longing, like a homesick feeling that hung over me. I finally got a taste of the life I wanted; singing and traveling with a band and then going to LA! I felt lucky to have a friend in LA who was in “the business.” I felt like this must be destiny; it was the perfect, safe opportunity to take the leap! The day after selling my car, I boarded the plane with everything I owned in two suitcases. On the flight, I was so excited; this felt unbelievable! I had so much hope for my future! It’s the only explanation for how I could muster up the courage to go. I stared out the window of the 747 as we took off. I could feel the wheels leaving the ground. When I landed in LA, it felt like a dream. I pinched myself. I was so EXCITED! I went to a payphone right away and called Steve. “Hey! You made it! Welcome to LA, sit tight. I’ll be there soon, just wait at the bar, and I’ll come get you.” So I did. I waited. An hour went by, and then I called him again to see when he was coming. “Ummm, I’m stuck in this recording session right now,” he said. “Can you take a cab over to the studio? It’s in Hollywood.” I said sure, trying to be brave. I don’t think I had ever taken a cab alone. I didn’t even know how to get one. But I was getting restless at the bar in the airport, so I asked the bartender where to get a cab. Anytime I had flown it was from small airports in the South, and someone was always waiting to pick me up. This was the first of many new adventures, and I was excited to see Hollywood! I thought “Wow, he’s doing great, maybe he’s with someone famous that I will get to meet if I get there in time." I didn’t think about it then, but our recording sessions back when I worked with him would go long into the night, too, often into the early morning. The only time he would take a break was to get more cocaine. It took every penny I had left from selling the car to get a cab from LAX to Hollywood. I felt embarrassed to show up with my luggage to the studio, but what else could I do? It probably looked like something you’d see in a movie scene. Cut to a young, naive Southern girl, who comes to Hollywood to make it big, goes straight to the studio with a suitcase in hand, expecting to get her big break! I never expected that to be my first stop when I arrived in Hollywood. I was very excited! The studio was huge! Even though it was late, there were still sessions going on, and even though I was exhausted, there was no place that I would rather be. I didn’t mind at all spending my first night in the recording studio. After waiting for him to finish the recording session, it was almost sunrise, and we went to his apartment. I crashed hard on the couch. I woke up when I heard a girl’s voice. She sounded pissed. It was his girlfriend. She had stopped by, and I guess he hadn’t told her about me coming. When she saw me there, she told him that he had better kick me out. It was her or me. Our relationship had always been totally platonic and Steve tried to tell her how we knew each other from back home, but she wouldn’t believe him. Steve walked in the room and said I couldn’t stay with him anymore. I was shocked he would do this to me, and I was terrified! “Please let me stay,” I pleaded with him. “I don’t have anywhere to go! I don’t know anyone else in LA, and I don’t have money or any family to call that will help me. Can’t you talk to her, please??" I begged. I was literally going to be homeless if he didn’t help me. I was entirely at his mercy, and he knew it. He used the situation to his advantage. He was still “using,” and I could have never imagined how bad it had gotten. He made a phone call, and the next thing I knew, he was loading my suitcase into his car and told me to get in. We drove away from his apartment in silence, neither saying a word. Hot tears rolled down my face. Just twelve hours ago, I was ecstatic, having more hope and joy than I had ever known on my way to the studio in Hollywood, and now I felt more scared than I had ever felt. There was literally no one to call there to help me. I couldn’t believe a friend could be so cold. We arrived at a three-story house set in the Hollywood Hills that rose above Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. A guy stepped out to meet Steve and me. He looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back, hoping he was a nice friend who would let me stay in one of the rooms until I got on my feet. He looked like a regular working guy. I hoped he would tell me I could rent a room there and pay him after I got a job. Instead, the guy handed something to Steve, who then quickly pulled my luggage out of the car and drove away fast. That was the last time I ever saw Steve. I didn’t realize it then, but my value had just been reduced to an eight ball of cocaine. In just a few hours of arriving in this magical place I had dreamed of, I had been traded for drugs. Sold. Trapped. I had no one.
*Did you know 67% of victims are trafficked by someone they knew and trusted?
To hear the full version of "EXPOSED; Surviving The Commercial Sex Industry" go to Audible here.
Letter To Survivors EXPOSED; Surviving The Commercial Sex Industry
"DEAR SURVIVOR, I wrote my story for the two of us, you and me. I tell it with boldness on behalf of you and all the women who haven’t yet found a safe place to be vulnerable. I know how lonely it is to live with the feeling that most people will never fully understand what you have seen and endured. I tell these stories for both of us, because you need a witness to all you have been through. Your story matters, your voice matters. The things you have experienced have been horrific, and those things need to be named and grieved for what you have missed. For so many years I was all alone suffering from C-PTSD with no one to talk to. It seemed like no one would be able to handle my story, so I walked around carrying the shame of feeling like I was always too much or never good enough. I tell these stories for me because I needed to write them, to know this was real. I needed to get closure on the things that have haunted me and held me prisoner for 26 years. I want you to know these stories are my past. It has been a long journey for me. I am grateful for what my life, my stories, have taught me and how they have played a huge role in who I am today. Someone who knows what it’s like to fall and get back up again and again. Someone who knows what this healing road looks like. Someone who is finding freedom and who is discovering with each new day who I truly am and what my life is meant to be. What you have experienced is more than most people will ever understand. You are not crazy. You are not too much! You are not who they said you are. You are stunning! There is no one like you! You are worthy of honor and goodness and you are worthy of being truly loved. My hope is that you will find yourself in these pages, no matter where you are on your journey, and realize that you are not alone. There is HOPE for so much more! And as you read my stories, you are my witness, and I am not alone in it anymore either." Thank you! Kate
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Listen to Kate's interview on the Allender Center Podcast.
